Caligula and the Cows

by | Mar 7, 2026 | Philosophy | 0 comments

by Kathleen Dean Moore

From southeast Arizona, a parable about the power of fake fear.

Like the coo of the lonesome dove or the low bawling of the calf, brrruuup is a signature sound of the Old West. It’s the noise a pickup makes when it speeds over a cattle grate in a country road. A cattle grate is a set of fourteen steel bars like railroad tracks set across the roadbed over a ditch. The bars are spaced closely enough that a car can rumble across. But if a cow tries to cross, its hoof will slide between the bars, plunging the leg into a space occupied by nothing but tumbleweeds and maybe a crumpled can of Coors. It’s a great invention to solve a big problem, how to create an opening in a barbed wire fence that cars can cross, but cattle cannot.  They don’t even try.

But here’s the thing: Sometimes, highway crews don’t bother actually digging the ditch and installing the bars. Instead, they just paint fourteen stripes across the road or unroll fourteen lengths of shiny tape. It’s not a very convincing imitation of a cattle grate, but it’s good enough to fool the cattle. They herd up on the road, blowing and farting, but would never dream of trotting across the stripes. It’s fake fear that paralyzes them and keeps them fenced in. It’s fake, but ranchers know it works.

And not just ranchers. For millennia, autocrats have controlled people by convincing them to fear something that is not fearsome at all. Take Caligula, third Emperor of Rome, 40 CE. According to reports, Caligula tried to convince his people that the ocean was attacking the shore. Granted, the claim makes a certain sense — those waves bashing against stone, ramming beaches with logs, undermining cliffs. Be afraid, be very afraid, and follow me into battle. Caligula put his soldiers along the shore and ordered them to stab at the ocean with their swords. He himself sailed out to sea a short way, and returned, claiming victory. Ave Imperatur!

But you don’t have to go far back in time to find examples. Who will ever forget poor Secretary of State Colin Powell holding up a bottle of white powder to convince the American public that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, like anthrax and yellowcake? Be afraid, be very afraid, and follow me into battle. Of course, the white stuff in the bottle was, I don’t know, scary white stuff. Most likely flour, historians say. But Americans supported the war anyway. More than 5,000 Americans died. Mission accomplished!

And now this: “If we didn’t hit within two weeks, Iran would have a nuclear weapons.” Oh no! And Somalis will eat your cat. And trans people will watch you pee in the men’s room. And immigrants will rape your wife. And Venezuelan fishermen will make your son a drug addict. And climate regulation will kill the economy. And measles vaccine will make your kid autistic. Be afraid; be very afraid; stare at the stripes on the road and piss and moan. It’s all fake, but like cattle, some people get comfortable with their fake fears. A vicious group of very hard, terrible people.

When I taught the fallacies in my critical thinking class, textbooks called this argumentum in terrorem, an appeal to fear. Here’s the form of the argument: “If you do not support A, then B (a terrible outcome) will happen. Therefore, A is necessary.” I told my students, demand evidence that the statement is true. Had I been teaching cattle, I would have suggested reaching out a tentative hoof and testing to see if the ground would indeed give way under their feet.

News Archive

Google “Animal Interludes” to hear wonderful writers read excerpts from Kathleen’s recent bookEarth’s Wild Music: Robin Kimmerer on the common murre and the grey wolf, Jane Hirschfield on the albatross, Aimee Nezhukumatathil on meadowlarks, and many more.

Catch Kathleen at the Corvallis Arts Center opening of the Wildfire + Water exhibition, May 15, 4 pm.

The Center for Humans and Nature has just released a set of books of essays about the four elements. In Bk. iii. Water, you’ll find Kathleen’s fiercely beautiful essay, “When Water Becomes a Weapon: Fracking, Climate Change, and the Violation of Human Rights.”

Read Kathleen’s new op-ed, a sly argument that hurricanes should be named, not for innocent Debbies and Ernestos, but for the fossil fuel executives who are actually increasing the fury of storms.

Hear Kathleen talk about a human-rights strategy to combat climate wrongs, podcast on the New Books Network, available here.

And you’ll like the new book, The Heart of the Wild, with Kathleen’s essay, “In Feral Land is the Preservation of the World.”

Hear Kathleen talk about a human-rights strategy to combat climate wrongs, podcast on the New Books Network, available here.

Announcing the release of Animal Dignity, with Kathleen’s essay “The Heart of the Scorpion,” about the moral power of the will to live.

On a new Spring Creek podcast, Kathleen tells a story about how W.S. Merwin’s prose poem, “Unchopping a Tree,” helped her and her students think through the question that possesses us all: How can one heart hold both a deep love for the natural world and the knowledge that it is being destroyed?

If you are looking for a holiday gift for your nature-loving and/or environmental-activist friends, please think of Kathleen’s Take Heart: Encouragement for Earth’s Weary Lovers.

Join Kathleen Moore and Charles Goodrich in a discussion of his new novel, Weave Me a Crooked Basket, Monday, November 20 @ 7pm (PT) Powell’s City of Books

Here’s Kathleen’s hard-hitting article, “Clean Natural Gas is a Dirty Deception.”

Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment just published Kathleen’s “The perilous and important art of definition: the case of the old-growth forest.” Read it here.

Earth’s Wild Music is a Chicago Review of Books Must-Read Book of the Month. Read the review here.

Read Kathleen’s new article, “How Big Oil is Manipulating How You Think about Climate Change,’ in Salon.com.

Kathleen and her colleague, Michael P. Nelson, apologize to the world for the damage done by racist and cruel Enlightenment philosophies. See “Did Philosophy Ruin the Earth? A philosopher’s letter of apology to the world” in Salon. 

Hear Kathleen speak about “Gratitude as a Way of Life” in the Natural History Institute’s Reciprocal Healing series.

Hear a new composition for English horn, based on Kathleen’s glacier essay, “The Sound of Mountains Melting,” from Earth’s Wild Music, written and performed by Chris Zatarain.

Three of Kathleen’s essays – “Swallows, Falling,” “Common Murre,” and “Dawn Chorus” are published in a new collection that celebrates birds, Dawn Songs, edited by Jamie K. Reaser and J. Drew Lanham.